Blog #19: Finding Their Name: The Story of 2010’s Browns Rookies

Jeff Schwartz

Blog #19: Finding Their Name: The Story of 2010’s Browns Rookies

August 2, 2010

For years upon years the Cleveland Browns have picked at or near the top of the NFL draft. This sickening practice has been dubbed “Our Super Bowl” by several local media members. Throughout the course of this sick practice becoming the norm and acceptable, I’ve tried to find ways to make it fun having a bad football team. Hence forth, finding really cool nicknames for Cleveland Browns rookies. In years past there’s been “The Mighty” Brady Quinn, playing off of the Manfred Mann song “The Mighty Quinn.” There was Courtney “Quiet Storm” Brown who was later amended to the “Slight Drizzle.” “Big Money” Gerard Warren, who was also dubbed “The Ladies Man” by WKNR’s Kenny Roda. Last season’s class included Alex “Daddy” Mack, Brian “Slobiskie” Robiskie for his slow moving frame, and my personal favorite James “Boom Goes the Dynamite” Davis. Of course none of these players have led to a Super Bowl victory yet, but there are hopes that those on the active roster, Mack, Robiskie, and Davis will help us achieve the real “Season of Dreams.”

Having said that, here are the official Jeff Schwartz nicknames of your 2010 Cleveland Browns rookies….

Round 1: CB Joe Haden, Florida: This was a tough one. I’m going with “Mr.” Joe Haden because his name sounds so distinguished you just have to throw a Mr. in front of it. Of all the rooks, this is the one I want to succeed the most.

Round 2: S T.J. Ward, Oregon: This was the easiest one. With the craze of World Wide Wes during the whole LeBron James hostage fiasco, and the style of play employed by T.J. Ward, I’ve dubbed him “Wild, Wild Ward.” He’s a killer, and he might just be the best safety to ever come from the Pac-10 if he stays within himself and can stay healthy.

Round 2: RB Montario Hardesty, Tennessee: Often compared to Jamal Lewis, his mentor at “Rocky Top University,” Hardesty is a violent runner. Gus Johnson of CBS once described Lewis as running like he had bad intentions. In a word, or two, that’s the name to go with Montario “Bad Intentions” Hardesty. He’s a monster in the wings, once he gets healthy.

Round 3: QB Colt McCoy, Texas: He’s a straight shooting, gun slinging inspiration according to former teammate Jordan Shipley, so I’m going with “The Real” Colt McCoy. I know of two people both named Colt and they’re both highly successful and great down to earth people. So let’s hope to add a third to that group.

Round 3: OT Shawn Lauvao, Arizona State: I honestly had never heard of this man when the Browns made him the 92^nd overall selection in the 2010 NFL draft. I’ve You Tubed him and checked out some film. He’s a man child. With only a small archive of footage to see, I went with the generic name of Shawn “Monster” Lauvao. He just looks like a monster on the field, I see him as a staple of the Browns Offensive Line for the next ten seasons.

Round 5: SS Larry Asante, Nebraska: Larry’s last name is perfect for a football player. He plays like his nickname too. He’s a head hunter. He’s a killer. He’s got no remorse for what he does on the field. Larry Asante is going to be glossed, “Assassin.” He’s also going to be a fixture in the Cleveland Browns secondary for years to come.

Round 6: WR Carlton Mitchell, South Florida: He’s got freak like speed and huge hands. Carlton Mitchell may have a first name dedicated to the nerd on that Will Smith show, but he’s a lot more like the Fresh Prince on the field. He’s a quick thinker, and moves around to avoid trouble. For the rest of his time in C-Town, Carlton Mitchell is going to be “The Smooth Prince.”

Round 6: DE Clifton Geathers, South Carolina: 6’7, 299lbs that’s a big, big boy. I had never seen highlight one of Clifton Geathers until yesterday. He’s so strong, that I have a hard time believing he’s only 299lbs. His arms are long, and he’s got speed. I hope this guy can develop into something because he looks like he could be very fun to watch. Clifton “Get To It” Geathers is going to be a ball hawk if he can get used to his size and the player opposite of him. Hopefully there’s a plethora of sacks in his future with us yelling “Get To It!”

Over the course of the next few weeks, they’ll be more season related previews. I’m a firm believer in where this team is headed. Good times ahead for those of us who haven’t abandoned the fine city of Cleveland.

Blog #16: A Blog Dedicated to #16 Josh Cribbs

Jeff Schwartz

Blog #16: A Blog Dedicated to #16 Josh Cribbs

July 22, 2010

“Thank you lord for allowing me to enjoy another day in your name, father God thank you for allowing us to beat the steelers… Amen.” No I’ve not suddenly become one of those crazy religious folks. That’s actually the first tweet I ever favorite on Twitter. It’s a tweet that came from Cleveland Brown Josh Cribbs an hour after the Cleveland Browns beat the Pittsburgh Steelers last December. Cribbs played out of his mind that game. Statistically, his numbers weren’t mind blowing but it was the little things he did that made that big of an impact.

It’s always the little things Josh Cribbs does that make him one of the best football players in Cleveland Browns history. Special teams tackling, Cribbs does it well. Punt returns, Cribbs succeeds, Kickoff returns, Cribbs is the best in the league bar none, Catching passes, Cribbs is working at it. The Cleveland Browns are a better football team when Josh Cribbs is on the field, and he’s never off of it. Rumors are circling Cribbs will get some time at Safety this season due to the shortage of talent at the position for the Browns. He’d probably be awesome at that too.

Josh Cribbs was an undrafted Quarterback out of Kent State where he wasn’t even originally a scholarship player. Cribbs wasn't even the best player on his own high school team. That honor belonged to San Francisco 49ers Tight End Vernon Davis. Cribbs has played 77 career NFL games up to this point. In those 77 games, he's the proud owner of 10 Special Teams touchdowns. That’s enough to merit consideration for the best Special Teams player in the history of the league.

Ignoring the numbers and the amazing highlights, Cribbs conduct is what makes him so special. Josh Cribbs is a family man; he represents the people of Cleveland in a positive manner. His 2010 Pro Bowl check was donated to Haiti for victims of an earthquake. His television show on FSN Ohio “Josh’s Cribbs,” shows Cribbs continuously in the community signing autographs and taking pictures. He’s beloved in this town because he plays football so passionately. In the ten years the Cleveland Browns have returned from exile, only Joe Thomas has been more dominant. The Cleveland Browns are turning the tide around with positive work on the field. Quality coaching has replaced complete lunacy from management, and Josh Cribbs is a major part of that turn around. As the countdown to training camp officially begins this coming Monday, thinking of Joshua Cribbs highlights of the past and future will put a smile on any face, loyal to the Orange and Brown.

I could watch this video all day.

Blog #14: Cleveland Browns Training Camp Countdown: 14 Days

Jeff Schwartz

Blog #14: Cleveland Browns Training Camp Countdown: 14 Days

July 18, 2010

I was looking at my calendar for the next week (which should provide a hectic and stressful week), and I noticed that in fourteen days The Mighty, Mighty Cleveland Browns begin the 2010-2011 season. Eric Mangini’s Cleveland Browns currently sit at a four-game win streak having defeated Ben the Sexual Predator and the Pittsburgh Steelers, Kansas City, Oakland, and Jacksonville to end the campaign last year. There’s a lot to be excited about if you’re a Browns fan. Over the course of the next month, I plan on previewing each position as we head into a season that will be a vast improvement on the years previous.

With 14 days until Training Camp is scheduled to begin for the Orange and Brown, here’s 14 Cleveland Browns related issues and topics to look forward to. These are in no specific order. It’s going to be an exciting season to be a Browns fan.

1. Can we beat the Pittsburgh Steelers in back to back games? Is it possible to defeat those weirdo’s three times in a row? There are many Pittsburgh area children who have been born since December 10, 2010 who have never seen their team beat the Browns.

2. Can Josh Cribbs make an impact at Wide Receiver? Second year players Mo Massaquoi and Buckeye Brother Brian Robiskie are solid starters, but Cribbs needs to play the role of star until Massaquoi and Robiskie can step up to the plate and take the brass ring.

3. Can Eric Mangini’s shadow AKA Mike Holmgren resist the urge to take over the coaching duties at any point in the season? Holmgren and Mangini seem to be vibing with one another right now, but will it last?

4. Can Joe Thomas finally get the national love that he gets from Cleveland for being the best Left Tackle in the NFL? Three seasons, three Pro Bowls. The All-Pro from Wisconsin deserves the respect of the entire country.

5. Can Jerome Harrison firmly establish himself as the number one Running Back or will rookie Montario Hardesty step in and become his idol Jamal Lewis? This is a really strong combo; I see many good things from the backs if they stay healthy. Don’t forget about Lawrence Vickers, an All-Pro talent at Full Back.

6. Can Shaun Rogers bounce back? The biggest man I’ve ever seen is a complete beast when healthy and more importantly happy. Ahtyba Rubin in limited action played much better than Rogers did last season, he also did not see the inside of a court room.

7. Can the Line Backing corps be as strong as I think it can be? Eric Barton, Marcus Benard, David Bowens, Titus Brown, Scott Fujita, Chris Gocong, D'Qwell Jackson, Matt Roth, and Jason Trusnik on paper sound like a scary bunch. I really hope they can hurt some Quarterbacks this year.

8. Can the Browns find a safety or two out of rookies Larry Asante and T.J. Ward? I badly wanted USC’s Taylor Mays when Ward was selected, but the Browns went with Ward. I am greatly looking forward to seeing Ward in action.

9. Can the right side of the Offensive Line actually be half as good as the left side? Free agent acquisition Tony Pashos is a monster of a man being paid a lot of money. He seems like he’ll be a big body who can stop Defensive Linemen from getting to Jake Delhomme.

10. Can the Quarterbacks of Jake Delhomme, Seneca Wallace, and rookie Colt McCoy be any better than Derek Anderson, Brady Quinn, and Brett Ratliff? They certainly can’t be any worse than last year’s trio of buffoons. I expect a lot of positives out of Delhomme before McCoy gets his chance in 2011-2012.

11. Can the Defensive Line actually have some depth to it? Rookie Clifton Geathers who is 6’7 and 300lbs looks like he could be a great body to put up front with Rogers, Smith, and Rubin. If the D-Line can be strong, there’s a good chance the Line Backers will have an easier go at making tackles.

12. Can Evan Moore continue to grow as a Tight End? Moore came out of nowhere last season and put up decent numbers to end the year. I expect to see Moore use his big hands to catch balls very quickly in Training Camp and follow that up with a big Pre-Season.

13. Can Eric Steinbach find himself? The last two years Left Guard Steinbach has had some problems. If it wasn’t for Thomas, Steinbach probably would have been cut by now. Joe Thomas makes him look like a stud. I think Big Stein can step his game up and head back to the Pro Bowl if things fall right.

14. Can the Cleveland Browns find an identity? Are they a team that runs the West Coast Offense? Do they run the ball? Can they stop the run? Do you not want to pass the ball against their strong secondary? The Browns MUST establish a definition to their team if they want to be taken seriously as playoff contenders.

The answer to all of these questions is YES WE CAN. This is the season things begin to turn around for us. I can’t wait until Saturday August 14, when I can walk into Cleveland Browns Stadium and see my team on the field for the first Pre-Season game. Here we go Brownies, here we go!

Blog #11: Ben Roethlisberger Might As Well Be On Jerry Springer

Jeff Schwartz

Blog #11: Ben Roethlisberger Might As Well Be On Jerry Springer

July 13, 2010

I’m an angry Cleveland Browns fan. I don’t hide it. When you as a diehard fan have to go through the last eleven seasons for a combined record of 59-117, I think I have the right to be very, very angry. I’ve managed to transform that anger, however. That rage and anger has evolved into the hatred of our biggest rival, The Pittsburgh Steelers. Since 2004, The Cleveland Browns have defeated The Steelers once. I went through five and a half years of college and did not see win number one against the hated Steelers. I’m not writing this article to talk about rivalries or my hatred of all things Pittsburgh. I’m not even writing this article about my self-imposed ban on even visiting or driving through the city of Pittsburgh. This blog is being written to tear down and accurately depict Steelers Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger as someone who fits in on the set of Jerry Springer far better than he does in a society of civilized people.

Does this guy go to the barber and ask for the sexual predator haircut? He’s been accused of rape as a professional, just as many times as he’s won a Superbowl, TWICE. Once, maybe it’s because he’s famous and has the ability to play the “do you know who I am card.” But twice, that’s a pattern, and nobody has mentioned his variety of incidents as a student at the University of Miami (Ohio). Lest we forget, it was Big Ben who hopped aboard a motorcycle while not wearing a helmet, and not owning a Pennsylvania motorcycle license when he flew over the handlebars and put his head through the windshield of a car. He’s more of a sideshow freak than Quarterback. Multiple jaw fractures and a nine inch cut on the back of the head as well as teeth knocked out from the incident led to Roethlisberger looking more like a carnie than would fit in with his behavior.

While car accidents are one thing, and certainly can be written off if not for his pattern of behavior, being accused of sexual assault is a whole new ball game that Number 7 can’t even compete in. The very first incident as a professional occurred in Lake Tahoe, NV. Andrea McNulty accused Roethlisberger of raping her as she came to fix his television in his room. As she allegedly attempted to leave the room, seeing that Ben had lied about the television problems he stood in front of the door. Since this is a family blog, I’ll just say that one thing led to another and this story broke to the media. A lawsuit filed accuses Roethlisberger of causing the victim to have depression and require medical care from the attack. As of now, the lawsuit is still pending and no criminal charges have been filed.

The second accusation of sexual assault against Ben Roethlisberger spurned from an incident at a college bar in Milledgeville, GA. Let’s back track before I provide details. This incident occurred at a COLLEGE BAR. Ben Roethlisberger has played in the NFL since 2004. That means it’s been six years since he’s been in college. There is no need for him to be in a college bar at that time, especially with his reputation. This incident occurred in the women's bathroom at the Capitol City Nightclub. A 20 year old college student, who was drunk, accused Roethlisberger of forcing himself on her at inside the women's restroom. Re-read the last sentence, why was the Steelers Quarterback in the women’s restroom? What is his excuse this time? No charges were filed for either incident, so of course Big Ben is innocent until proven guilty. However, this pattern of behavior speaks for itself. This is the kind of nonsense that a scripted character on Jerry Springer does.

A motorcycle crash (a GIANT contract violation), TWO accusations of rape/sexual assault, and most recently, Profootballtalk.com (an amazing website), reported Ben Roethlisberger was caught urinating on a golf course. Now granted, drinking beer and trying to stay hydrated in the summer on the golf course can lead to many a person having to pee on the course, but with Roethlisberger’s reputation not needing anymore hits, he probably should have held it until he could find a port-a-potty.

Big Ben is currently serving a six game suspension from the NFL for his downright pathetic conduct as an adult. He is scheduled to go through a league mandated behavior evaluation by a professional. He must also receive counseling and treatment recommended by a professional. As a Browns fan, I love seeing Big Ben suffer, but I don’t love seeing him suffer off of the field. He should learn to act like an adult and represent himself and his organization in a far more professional manner. I just have to wonder how much of his behavior is based upon the plethora of concussions he’s suffered on the field behind his shoddy at best offensive line. I would hope that after his suspension his behavior will have improved and he’ll have matured as a person. If that’s the case, The Cleveland Browns defense will gladly send him off the field on a stretcher.

Image of the Week Award Winner Week of July 11, 2010

Enough of the hatred for the gutless wonder, there will be plenty of time for that in the near future. Let's all hate on sex-offender Ben Roethlisberger with this glorious image courtesy of a fan at realcavsfans.com There will be a fun article blowing him up very, very soon. Here we go Brownies, here we go!