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Monday, August 9, 2010

Image of the Week Award Winner Week of August 9, 2010

One Timothy Richard Tebow and his Friar Tuck haircut courtesy of the Denver Broncos veterans. Ahh, rookie hazing, not even God's favorite football player is exempt. Kudos to Tebow for following through with the same treatment as everyone else. Please take note Dez Bryant.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Brett Favre: Always a Class Act

Unbelievable. Well, not actually unbelievable, more like totally believable. I've always felt Favre was an attention whore. This story just seems to make my theory all that much more plausible for all of the wrong reasons.

Blog 20: Baseball Players Should Stop Fighting

Jeff Schwartz

Blog #20: Baseball Players Should Stop Fighting

August 4, 2010

Last night there was a sort of fight between a sort of Major League Baseball team in the Cleveland Indians and the broken down Boston Red Sox. There were no punches thrown but there was a lot of yelling, finger pointing, and half shoving. For the life of me I will never understand baseball fights. In very few cases are these fights ever legitimate fights. The last good baseball fight was Richie Sexson and Kason Gabbard. Sexson grabbed a headlock and put Gabbard into the ground. That was two years ago. In the mean time, there have been slap-fests and arguments but no legit fights. In last evening’s bench clearing shout-fest three people were tossed from the game. It was not because they were in the middle of the brawl either. There might as well have been a couple of podiums, a moderator, and decorum. I’ve seen civilized debates with more fury.

When Izzy Alcantara got hit, he super-kicked the catcher and charged to the mound looking for someone’s face to introduce to his fist.

When Tim Belcher tried to bunt against Chan Ho Park, Park responded with a kick straight out of the original Karate Kid series of movies.

When Nolan Ryan drilled Robyn Ventura with a fastball, Ventura had enough and charged the mound. That didn’t end well for the former 3rd baseman.

The fight last night featuring baseball luminaries like Jensen Lewis, Steve Smith, Shelley Duncan, Jordan Brown, of the Cleveland Indians was yet another pathetic display of on field behavior for this “Professional” baseball team. I realize there are injuries and that Rachel Phelps would be a better owner than Larry Dolan but if you’re going to charge the field and fight the opposing team throw some punches. Get fired up! Show some fire, passion, heart, and some balls. The apologists that run this baseball team have ruined baseball in Cleveland for far too long. I want to see these guys get excited to defend their manager, their team, themselves, and most importantly THEIR CITY. Thank God, Pure Rage Chris Perez wasn’t involved in this, he may have killed a Red Sox player. Cleveland’s a tough town, we’ve endured such heartache, the least these players could do is fight like we have on the field.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Image of the Week Award Winner Week of August 2, 2010

College football is also almost here, today Terelle Pryor was named Pre-Season Offensive Player of the Year and his Ohio State Buckeyes were picked to win the conference. O-H-I-O!

YouTube Link of the Week: NSFW, David Anderson, Houston Texans

This is Wide Receiver David Anderson doing a stand up routine at a Houston Dynamo's function. He's really funny. Anderson is also a player to keep an eye on. Thanks to my friends at for the link to this video.

Blog #19: Finding Their Name: The Story of 2010’s Browns Rookies

Jeff Schwartz

Blog #19: Finding Their Name: The Story of 2010’s Browns Rookies

August 2, 2010

For years upon years the Cleveland Browns have picked at or near the top of the NFL draft. This sickening practice has been dubbed “Our Super Bowl” by several local media members. Throughout the course of this sick practice becoming the norm and acceptable, I’ve tried to find ways to make it fun having a bad football team. Hence forth, finding really cool nicknames for Cleveland Browns rookies. In years past there’s been “The Mighty” Brady Quinn, playing off of the Manfred Mann song “The Mighty Quinn.” There was Courtney “Quiet Storm” Brown who was later amended to the “Slight Drizzle.” “Big Money” Gerard Warren, who was also dubbed “The Ladies Man” by WKNR’s Kenny Roda. Last season’s class included Alex “Daddy” Mack, Brian “Slobiskie” Robiskie for his slow moving frame, and my personal favorite James “Boom Goes the Dynamite” Davis. Of course none of these players have led to a Super Bowl victory yet, but there are hopes that those on the active roster, Mack, Robiskie, and Davis will help us achieve the real “Season of Dreams.”

Having said that, here are the official Jeff Schwartz nicknames of your 2010 Cleveland Browns rookies….

Round 1: CB Joe Haden, Florida: This was a tough one. I’m going with “Mr.” Joe Haden because his name sounds so distinguished you just have to throw a Mr. in front of it. Of all the rooks, this is the one I want to succeed the most.

Round 2: S T.J. Ward, Oregon: This was the easiest one. With the craze of World Wide Wes during the whole LeBron James hostage fiasco, and the style of play employed by T.J. Ward, I’ve dubbed him “Wild, Wild Ward.” He’s a killer, and he might just be the best safety to ever come from the Pac-10 if he stays within himself and can stay healthy.

Round 2: RB Montario Hardesty, Tennessee: Often compared to Jamal Lewis, his mentor at “Rocky Top University,” Hardesty is a violent runner. Gus Johnson of CBS once described Lewis as running like he had bad intentions. In a word, or two, that’s the name to go with Montario “Bad Intentions” Hardesty. He’s a monster in the wings, once he gets healthy.

Round 3: QB Colt McCoy, Texas: He’s a straight shooting, gun slinging inspiration according to former teammate Jordan Shipley, so I’m going with “The Real” Colt McCoy. I know of two people both named Colt and they’re both highly successful and great down to earth people. So let’s hope to add a third to that group.

Round 3: OT Shawn Lauvao, Arizona State: I honestly had never heard of this man when the Browns made him the 92nd overall selection in the 2010 NFL draft. I’ve You Tubed him and checked out some film. He’s a man child. With only a small archive of footage to see, I went with the generic name of Shawn “Monster” Lauvao. He just looks like a monster on the field, I see him as a staple of the Browns Offensive Line for the next ten seasons.

Round 5: SS Larry Asante, Nebraska: Larry’s last name is perfect for a football player. He plays like his nickname too. He’s a head hunter. He’s a killer. He’s got no remorse for what he does on the field. Larry Asante is going to be glossed, “Assassin.” He’s also going to be a fixture in the Cleveland Browns secondary for years to come.

Round 6: WR Carlton Mitchell, South Florida: He’s got freak like speed and huge hands. Carlton Mitchell may have a first name dedicated to the nerd on that Will Smith show, but he’s a lot more like the Fresh Prince on the field. He’s a quick thinker, and moves around to avoid trouble. For the rest of his time in C-Town, Carlton Mitchell is going to be “The Smooth Prince.”

Round 6: DE Clifton Geathers, South Carolina: 6’7, 299lbs that’s a big, big boy. I had never seen highlight one of Clifton Geathers until yesterday. He’s so strong, that I have a hard time believing he’s only 299lbs. His arms are long, and he’s got speed. I hope this guy can develop into something because he looks like he could be very fun to watch. Clifton “Get To It” Geathers is going to be a ball hawk if he can get used to his size and the player opposite of him. Hopefully there’s a plethora of sacks in his future with us yelling “Get To It!”

Over the course of the next few weeks, they’ll be more season related previews. I’m a firm believer in where this team is headed. Good times ahead for those of us who haven’t abandoned the fine city of Cleveland.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Random Acts of Commentary: Some People Are Just Completely Stupid

Jeff Schwartz

Random Short Commentary: Some People Are Just Completely Stupid

July 29, 2010

Some people just like to make a statement. That’s cool. That’s also respectable. But there are always lines drawn in the sand where the person making a statement comes off as an idiot. Maybe this guy missed the memo or “The Decision.” Maybe he’s just a tool looking for attention but Matt Bellamy you’re going to become my victim after this blog. Why you chose to show up to an Indians vs. Yankees game in a #6 LeBron James Miami Heat jersey I will never know. Are you an idiot? Are you looking to get killed? The Self-Titled King doesn’t even have the stones to do that. Art Modell hasn’t been back here since 1996. Not only did this buffoon put himself in harm’s way, he also put his girlfriend in harm’s way. Buddy, if you’re stupid enough to put yourself out there, you should at least consider protecting your girlfriend.

Per Matt Bellamy is from Sandusky, he’s been pistol whipped before and sports a scar from it. Matt, you’re a loser. You’ll be a loser for the rest of your life. Based upon the pictures and videos I’ve viewed at the Cleveland Frowns link, you’re just a loser. It’s amazing the fans last night were as kind to you as they were. You’re lucky you made it out of there with your life. You’re lucky your girlfriend was not victimized more than she was. Had this been a Cleveland Browns game, your fate would have been a whole lot different.